5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
