Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize