should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
