Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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