And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
