Betty ford says i'm here all night
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
