Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
