I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
