He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize