Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
