Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
