Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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