Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
