so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
