i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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