I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
