I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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