why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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