To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
