We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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