She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
