She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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