Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
