Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
