If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
