since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize