No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
