3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize