I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
