he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
