STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
They should really pass out barf bags in church
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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