Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
