I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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