Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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