Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
