he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
