Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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