considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
