I wannas sexs uuuuu
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize