If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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