i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
