did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
