You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
