this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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