I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
PANTIES FOUND
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
