Its about making memories worth repressing
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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