and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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