do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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