We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
