no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
