I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
