I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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