Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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