Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
