She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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