Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
