He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
