I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
