Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
