Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
