we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
