When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
