just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize