So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
third nipple confirmed
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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