i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
