Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
