She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
