Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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