Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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