You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
