3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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