Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
