he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
